The Gnomepocalypse November 5, 2011Posted by Stormy in PvP.
I awoke to the sound of an alarm bell and the flash of a red light. “EVACUATE!” cried the security guard. I grabbed my shoes off the floor and the picture of my beloved from under my pillow and ran out the door. Dozens of my gnomish brothers and sisters scurried around clearing a path through the infected troggs. I ran to the safety of an evacuation pod and breathed a sigh of relief.
The evacuation pod took me to New Tinkertown, where I was promptly pulled aside by an officer. He hurriedly explained to me that based on my physical characteristics and my experience wielding the Light I’d been selected for a secret, elite squad of the resistance army. I was given some equipment and pocket money and ordered to get a new haircut…and oh yeah, I was given a code name: Lillistorm. I looked around at my new sisters and saw they’d all been given code names starting with Lilli: Lillifyn, Lillicyn, Lilliilli and so on, and we all had matching haircuts.
This harebrained idea is the brainchild of Alas, who posted on her blog yesterday about the idea of a Gnome Clone army. I watched a little bit of the discussion fly back and forth on Twitter yesterday, but frankly I was too distracted by work to devote any energy to what was going on. I picked up this vague notion that there were a bunch of Twitter folks descending on a server to set up a guild, and since I love some of the WoW Twitterati dearly I decided to check it out. It turns out that some of the elder statespeople of the WoW Twittersphere had banded together and assembled an entire framework for a Gnome Clone PvP army, and frankly I cackled maniacally as I read through the planning/rulebook document they’d assembled.
Members of the Gnome Clone army are required to be female gnomes, all clothies/casters and all have the same matching face and matching haircut, dubbed “punk”. We’ve all been instructed to take Engineering as a primary profession (we’re gnomes, after all). Our goal is to level these toons to 24 and twink them, guided by a master gear list compiled by Psynister and others. Once we’re sufficiently leveled and geared, the goal is to combine our superior PvP skills with the element of total surprise and descend on Azeroth’s battlegrounds in pursuit of one goal: total domination. Seriously, could you imagine being some level 24 Hordie zoning into WSG and being met by a pre-made consisting of ten matching female gnomes all named Lilli? Just the sheer “WTF?” factor is likely to give us an edge on the competition.
Moreover, I was excited at the prospect of learning some remedial Pvp skills in an environment filled with masters (Cynwise, Psynister, etc.) where people won’t yell at me. So late last night I logged over to Durotan-US, and following the Gnome Clone rulebook I rolled a new toon: Lillistorm the gnome discipline priest. Those of you who know me are silently asking yourself (as Rush did last night): “A gnome? Are you feeling okay?” Yes. Even as a proud and loyal member of Thrall’s Horde (Garrosh can go to Hell) I feel great about it. I had more fun in WoW last night than I’d had in months, running around Chill Breeze Valley giggling hysterically at the half-dozen little matching gnomelets dominating the local landscape.
The Durotan server was chosen as home base for the Gnome Clone army because it’s the home of <Amicus Fidelis>, guild to Cynwise, Psynister, Fynralyl and others, and the members of AF welcomed us with open arms and showered us with goodies to get us started on our bizarre little journey. By the time I logged out last night, twenty or so new little Lillies had invaded AF and there were more waiting for guild invites.
I have no idea where this is going. I’m so embarrassingly bad at PvP that it’s not even funny. I’m terrified at the prospect of being adrift on a new server and being expected to survive. But I’m in good hands, and I’m handy enough with bubbles and Penance that I hope I can pull my weight. I don’t know that we’re going to become a force to be reckoned with in the 20-24 bracket, but I’m going to have a hell of a lot of fun trying.